i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize