It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
