Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
