i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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