You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
