Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
