Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
