i just wanna soil my oats bro
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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