Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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