the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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