i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
