just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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