Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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