just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize