new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Someone signed my nipple.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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