i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize