i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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