Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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