I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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