Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm passing your future prison.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
