He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
