She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
