i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
