i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize