She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
