I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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