I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
