Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
