id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize