Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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