bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
