Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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