Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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