If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
