STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
