Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
