Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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