Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
