As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
this hospital has no fireball
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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