One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
