Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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