It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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