This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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