I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize