yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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