How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
