I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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