I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
