I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
