Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
