it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
