Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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