This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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