Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
